 Riding from Fear to Joy
For many years of my adult life, my "high" has been bonding with my mare, riding mountain and desert trails in all kinds of weather and circumstances. My siblings have the same horse connections and many of our family gatherings are centered around a special horse camp with as much riding as time will allow.
My greatest joy turned into my greatest fear after two significant horse accidents in two years. Thank goodness, my horses were fine. The first time I fractured my right humerus and ended up with a year of surgeries and therapy. As soon I was released to ride, I was back in the saddle but not really aware of the emotional fear that was hiding within. Another horse and another accident resulted in a fractured left shoulder, more surgery, more therapy.
I still wanted to ride but now I was aware of a terrible, overwhelming fear. Even on the ground, the slightest misstep of a horse caused my palms to sweat and my heart to race.
It was at this point that I was blessed to re-connect with Jane Zubia. She says she is a horse trainer. While I have worked with her in that capacity and she is wonderful; I call her my "people trainer". She talked with me, took one look at me and my horse and knew we had to start over. Grooming, touching, re-connecting. Walking, training, hours of groundwork. Talking, encouraging, interpreting. I cried. I laughed. I backslid. Jane always kept me focused on my horse and my horse's response to everything I did. She built my confidence and through was was, at first, tiny successes. But that was all I needed to keep my motivation. If I was too tentative or too timid, Jane would say the words to encourage me to "dig deep" and move forward.
My first ride was not a ride at all, but just a chance to sit on my horse and remember what a horse feels like. To someone who has not experienced panic at the horse's slightest move, this may seem ridiculous. To those who have experienced a similar event, understanding will be clear. I advanced over months from basics, to arena riding, riding outside, and eventually, back to my much loved trail in the Wind River Mountains! One day the total Joy returned. Perhaps, it is now even more meaningful that it had been originally. I now know how precious that joy is. I knew life without horses and know what it means to have that gift given back. I also know that I would never have come back to the joy and excitement without the coaching and friendship of Jane Zubia.
If you have had an accident, a bad experience with horse, or just need to grow into a better horseperson, I would encourage you to call Jane. Her understanding and love of people will guide you, as a student, to the goals you have set for yourself.
I have my life and my relationship with my horses back. I will always thank Jane for that and I am proud to have her friendship!
Bonnie Deyo
August 2009
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